Yankees Find Someone More Worthless Than Vernon Wells

Didn’t think it was possible? Well, they did it.

When the Second Coming of Zoilo was injured, and the yankee had little choice but to put Mr. Worthless Vernon Wells back in the lineup, they were rewarded with the same kind of triple-A caliber play we’ve grown accustomed to from Mr. Worthless. So, lo and behold, the yankee went looking, and what did they find? What did they come up with? They decided to bring back the Alfonso!

A decade ago, least you forget, Alfonso Soriano played daily for the yankee, at second base, where he was notable for two things: Striking out at the plate, most often in the most clutch of situations, and errors in the field. In fact, I always enjoyed the adventure and humor anytime a ground ball was hit his way during those years that the Alfonso was playing second base for the yankee.

Majestic Yasiel Puig L.A. Dodgers T-Shirt

Eventually, after stops in Texas and Washington, the Alfonso then went on the the Chicago Cubs, where they determined the guy was not a second baseman. So, they diverted his “talent” to left flied, where, unfortunately for the Cubs, he was also NOT a left fielder.

In looking over the Alfonso’s lifetime fielding stats, one item really sticks out: In the 2009 season, in 116 games, the Alfonso committed 11 errors, PLAYING LEFT FIELD! HOW do you commit 11 errors, in only 116 games, in left field? The number of

11 errors made in a full season while playing left field has only been surpassed twice in the past 25 years, and the Alfonso also has led the major leagues in errors by a left fielder in four of the last five seasons.

So, this is what the yankee has chosen to replace Mr. Worthless. Seems like a fair trade off.

By the way, the Alfonso is 0-for-8 in his first two games back in New York.

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